Laugh at THIS!

6 Reasons Reality is Funnier Than Fiction ( AND A LOT MORE)

2010-03-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

Find out more at : www.baconbabble.com/index.php/2010/03/05/reality-is-funnier-than-fiction/

Stop Drop LOL - Laugh at THIS!

2009-12-13T04:04:00.000-08:00

Unrelated Captions - Laugh at THIS!

2009-12-13T03:47:00.000-08:00

http://unrelatedcaptions.com/submissions/cat_uploads/a4b056d2621190.jpg

My Life is Average - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-27T05:34:00.000-08:00

My Life is Average is a website that lets people share average anecdotes from their daily life. Over time, this website has become a pop culture fad.

Today, while watching a commerical for a home pregnacy test, the seductive voice at the end cooned, "The pregnany test made especially for women." I'm a little confused. MLIA.

More at : http://mylifeisaverage.com

Crazy Things Parents Say - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

Mom (judging the outfit I was trying on): Looks like you got my ass and your dad’s chest.

Source: http://crazythingsparentssay.com/2009/11/13/melanie/

The Thanksgiving Letter - Awkward Family Moments - Emails from Crazy People - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-27T05:25:00.000-08:00

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

Sources:
http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/08/20/giving-thanks-that-isnt-my-family/
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/11/26/awkward-family-story-the-thanksgiving-letter/

Biden Jr. - Funny Comic - Comixed.com - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-27T05:18:00.000-08:00

Source: http://comixed.com/2009/11/18/comics-comic-strip-yonkoma-biden-jr/

Murphy’s Logic - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-23T04:19:00.001-08:00

One day Murphy was outside and was mowing his grass when a big moving truck pulled in the driveway next to his. Knowing that no one lives there he figures that he is getting new nieghbor's. He finishes up his grass and the neighbor's are unloading the truck he walks up to the fence and says hello, I'm Murphy and I live next door. Well the guy sets down the box that he is carrying and says "good to meet you Murphy I, am Tim".

Well the two of them got to talking and Murphy asked Tim what he did for a living. Tim thought for a moment and proclaimed proudly that "I deal with logic." Murphy, looking dumbfounded, said "what?" Tim offered Murphy an example.

Murphy said "allright." Tim said, "Do you have a dog? Murphy replied "yea, I have a dog". Tim then stated "Well then it is logical to assume that you have children." Murphy said that is right, I have 2. Tim then stated "if you have 2 kids then it is logical to assume that you have a wife." Murphy said "Yea, 10 years now!" Tim said "well then its logical to assume that you are a "heterosexual." Tim, astonished, said "Wow, that's right!"

Well later that day Murphy came across his other neighbor Jim and Jim said "Hey, I see you have a new neighbor." Murphy stated "Yea, he's very interesting too." Jim says "what do you mean?" "Well, Murphy stated he has the most interesting job." Jim said "What is it?" "Murphy says he deals with logic." Jim said "Logic.. what?" "That's what I said" stated Murphy. "Well let me give you an example."

Murphy said "Jim, do you have a dog?" Jim said "Now you know I dont have no dog." So Murphy pondered this for a minute and said "You're gay!"

Source: http://www.funnyandjokes.com/murphys-logic.html

We has problem. Iz Nawt Pie Yet! - Lolcats 'n' Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?® - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-23T04:11:00.000-08:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

HATE #9: POOPING UNDER TIME CONSTRAINTS - The Ultimate Hate List - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

HATE #9: POOPING UNDER TIME CONSTRAINTS

Explaining this hate is like trying to explain the holocaust to an infant. But fear not for I, your humble narrator and muthafuckin wordsmith, have found a way to relate the material in terms everyone can grasp.

First, you must understand the pure awesomeness and privilege that is the schedule-ly uninhibited shit. It transcends space and time. It is as if the toilet and I are sharing the same heart, united in a beautiful, yet sinful act of pleasure and love. A truly unimpeded shit is like having sex for the first time with the love of your life; like I am the virgin Mary giving birth to baby-god Jesus.

Under time constraints however, everything changes. Whether I have a client meeting, a girl coming over, a bus, train or plane to catch or a non-DVRed episode of "The Price Is Right" is coming on, pooping under time constraints ruins my most sacred of acts. I am forced into a commitment I'm not ready to make. Not now, not with this toilette. I feel like I just need a little more time. This toilet seems a little dirty and I just don't know it well enough yet to enter into such an intimate engagement. Yet, against my will, I am physically entered into an uncomfortable situation in which I do not have control of my most private parts. Pooping under time constraints is essentially being raped. It's a painful, heartbreaking experience robbing me of my innocence.

These dreadfully uncomfortable shits corrupt the act of shitting for many people. It's estimated that hundreds of thousands of time constricting poops happen every day. Unfortunately, most of them go unreported. The only thing we can really do is move on with our lives and pray that Bill Nye invents a cure.

Source: http://www.ultimatehatelist.com/2009/08/hate-9-pooping-under-time-constraints_11.html

20 Funniest Neon Sign Fails - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

Source: http://www.manofest.com/Galleries/Funny/The-20-Funniest-Neon-Sign-Fails

Pop Can Genie - Funny Comic Strips - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-15T11:39:00.000-08:00

The Doctor's Waiting Room - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-15T11:36:00.000-08:00

The doctor's waiting room. Funny picture. Medical jokes. doctor jokes. funny. laugh at this.

The Making of You - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-15T11:34:00.001-08:00

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes - Funny Pictures - Asian Humor - Language Fail - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-15T11:33:00.000-08:00

Project Kickass - Funny Pictures - Holiday Jokes - Christmas Funny Lights - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-12T07:05:00.000-08:00

Source: http://projectkickass.com/1677

Poor Dog - Funny GIFs- Funny Images - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-12T06:57:00.001-08:00

poor dog by orrow on WeGIF

No! I am the Batman! Funny pictures - Funny Jokes - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-12T06:55:00.000-08:00

Source: http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/36790/No+I+m+Batman

Ten More Demotivational Posters - Funny Pictures - Sarcasm - Comments - Captions - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

I assume You are a Chinese Immigrant! TOTAL WIN! Homework Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-05T23:17:00.000-08:00

Hi! I am from the Internet! XKCD Comic!!

2009-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

Source: XKCD

Sarcastic Comic

Site: www.xkcd.com

CSI - The Real Truth Behind The Show - Funny Daily Picture - Laugh at THIS!

2009-11-05T23:08:00.001-08:00

This is what they do. Plainly explained the real drama of CSI.

Your LIFE! Sarcastic Comic.

2009-11-05T23:06:00.000-08:00

Source: http://www.shof.msrcsites.co.uk/

Lamebook - Lame, Stupid, Funny Facebook Fails

2009-11-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

More funny, lame, stupid, blonde, racist Facebook fails on http://www.lamebook.com

Funny Picture - Pizza Hut - Entrance Fail

2009-10-29T11:47:00.001-07:00

Funny Picture - Handwash - Hotel Restroom - Laugh at THIS!

2009-10-29T11:38:00.001-07:00

Funny Math Question - Classroom Humor - Laugh at THIS!

2009-10-29T11:37:00.001-07:00

Water On Mars - Funnt Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

2009-10-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hat Fail - Funny Pictures

2009-10-29T11:24:00.001-07:00

Our college life - Laugh at THIS!

2009-10-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

Every New Semester

After 1st Week:

After 2nd Week:

Before the Mid-Term Exam:

During The Mid-Term Exam:

After The Mid-Term Exam:

Before the Final Exam:

Once We get the Schedule of Final exam:

7 Days Before Final exam:

6 Days Before Final exam:

5 Days Before Final exam:

4 Days Before Final exam:

3 Days Before Final exam:

2 Days Before Final exam:

1 Days Before Final exam:

Night Before the final exam:

1 Hour before the final exam:

During the final exams:

once walk out of the examination room:

After the final exam during the holiday:

That’s College!!!

http://funnyrofl.wordpress.com/our-college-life/

Unusual (and fun!) Date Ideas

2009-10-28T07:25:00.001-07:00

1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence

2. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books

3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress uup us Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”

4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen

5. Dress up as superherous and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”

6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.

7. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.

8. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

9. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.

10.Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.

11.Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!

12.In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

13.Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.

14.Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jacks.

15.Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things

16.Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras

17.With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.

18.Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn

19.Go to a restraunt and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.

20.Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.

http://9gag.com/gag/3619/

Foreign Signs - GNU Operating System - Laugh at THIS!

2009-10-28T07:24:00.001-07:00

In a Tokyo Hotel:

Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room:

Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:

For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In an East African newspaper:

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel:

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:

A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours—we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:

To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:

Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:

Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today—no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking.
Here speeching American.

Seen at : http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/foreign-signs.html

Laugh at THIS! - Chemistry Joke - Comicjk.com

2009-10-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

http://comicjk.com/comic.php/268

BiPolar Bunnies - Joeledbetter

2009-10-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Source: http://www.joeledbetter.com/bipolar_bunnies.htm

One Liners - Joker

2009-10-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Source: http://www.merel.us/Joker/OneLiner_Frame.htm

Funny jokes - Funny Images

2009-10-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

My Life is Average - #877471

2009-10-19T12:05:00.001-07:00

I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA

Source: http://mylifeisaverage.com/story.php?id=877471

Star Wars: Retold (by someone that's never seen it)

2009-10-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

My friend Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When I asked her if she would watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens. So I took out my voice recorder and asked her to start from the top. I then created some very basic animation in Final Cut to go along with her narration. More stuff online at: www.fishrockit.com

Star Wars: Retold (by someone that's never seen it) - watch more funny videos

Source: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e34ed3fcba/star-wars-retold-by-someone-thats-never-seen-it-from-joenick

State Mottos Alabama to Wyoming

2009-10-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alabama: Like the Third World, but Closer! (thanks to Jim Villani)

Alabama: Keeping it in the Family Since 1819 (thanks to Robert Pfaff)

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Alaska: Jeez, it's Cold.

Alaska: Yeah, But It's a Dry Cold. (thanks to Andy Hynds)

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat

Arizona: Soon To Be the Pacific Coast State (thanks to Michelle Steiner)

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

Arkansas: Attention K-Mart Shoppers! (thanks to Mike Tamburri)

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: Now 100% John Denver Free! (thanks to John Mozena)

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet

Connecticut: The Middle C is silent, Ca**hole. (thanks to Mike Dougherty)

Delaware: Everything is Smaller Here!

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Leave us alone, we're busy enjoying the 82 degree winter. (thanks to Gregory Seel)

Florida: Get Off of My State, You Kids! (thanks to Joe Lex)

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Florida: So Close, You Can Smell Fidel (thanks to Jim Villani)

Florida: More Than Just a Great Place to Die (thanks to Joe Lex)

Florida: America's Wang

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Hawaii: Come surfing because we love your hilarious You Tube vids. (thanks to Gregory Seel)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Idaho: You Can Be Da Ho Next (thanks to Ken Hirlinger)

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Indiana: Dan Quayle's Favorite Country! (thanks to Nabeel Ibrahim)

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn

Kansas: First of the Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, but That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, but We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Massachusetts: Now with 30% Fewer Kennedys! (thanks to Brian DiMattia)

Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Missouri: Loves Company! (thanks to Ilene Morgan)

Missouri: The "Show Me State". You show me yours and I'll show you my rifle.(thanks to Darlene Forsman)

Montana: Land Of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nebraska: The "N" is for Knowledge (thanks to Chris Pultz)

Nebraska: Bring Something to Do! (thanks to Luke Jones)

Nebraska: Land of Two Seasons - Winter and Construction

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Hampshire: Just Like Old Hampshire, but Newer

New Jersey: What Smell? (thanks to James Rouse)

New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Cleaner than Regular Mexico and Less Bodies in the Sandbox(thanks to Darlene Forsman)

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have the Right To Remain Silent, You Have the Right To an Attorney

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Ohio: Where One of Your Dad's Friends Lives

Ohio: It's Not Just "Hello" in Japanese (thanks to Lara Allan)

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl - It's What's For Dinner

Oregon: It's OR-EE-GUN, you idiot! (thanks to Darlene Forsman)

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

Rhode Island: Small, Yes, But We Know What to Do with It! (thanks to Joe Lex)

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Vermont: Gettin' Busy with New Hampshire since 1791

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air

Wyoming: Where Men are Men (And The Sheep are Scared)

Source: http://funny2.com/states.htm

Capitalism and Cows

2009-10-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

Source: http://www.manbottle.com/humor/Capitalism_and_Cows.htm

25 Hilarious Defaced Bills - Funny Web Links

2009-10-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Source: http://www.webofentertainment.com/2009/10/25-hilarious-defaced-bills.html

Funny - Stupid Fail - Yahoo Answers Fail

2009-10-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

funny superhero comic book covers

2009-10-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

Source: www.fresh99.com/funny-superhero-comic-book-covers.htm

Stuff White People Like - #128 - Camping

2009-10-01T09:20:00.001-07:00

Stuff White People Like - #128 - Camping

August 14, 2009 by clander

If you find yourself trapped in the middle of the woods without electricity, running water, or a car you would likely describe that situation as a “nightmare” or “a worse case scenario like after plane crash or something.” White people refer to it as “camping.”
When white people begin talking to you about camping they will do their best to tell you that it’s very easy and it allows them to escape the pressures and troubles of the urban lifestyle for a more natural, simplified, relaxing time. Nothing could be further from the truth.
In theory camping should be a very inexpensive activity since you are literally sleeping on the ground. But as with everything in white culture, the more simple it appears the more expensive it actually is.
Camping is a multi-day, multi-step, potentially lethal activity that will cost you a large amount of both time and money. Unless you are in some sort of position where you absolutely need the friendship of a white person, you should avoid camping at all costs.
The first stage of camping always involves a trip to an outdoor equipment store like REI (or in Canada, Mountain Equipment Co-Op). These stores are well known for their abundance of white customers and their extensive inventory of things for white people to buy and only use once. If you are ever tricked into going to one of these stores, you can make white people like you by saying things like “man, this Kayak is only $1200, if I use it 35 times I’ve already saved money over renting.” Note: do not actually buy the kayak.
Next, white people will then take this new equipment and load it into an SUV or Subaru Outback with a Thule or Yakima Roof Rack. Then they will drive for an extended period of time to a national park or campsite where they will pay an entrance fee and begin their journey. It is worth noting that white people are unaware of the irony of using a gas burning car to bring them closer to nature and it is not recommended that you point this out. It will ruin their weekend.
Once in the camp area, white people will walk around for a while, set up a tent, have a horrible night of sleep, walk around some more. Then get in the car and go home. This, of course, is a best case scenario. Worst case scenarios include: getting lost, poisoned, killed by an animal, and encountering an RV. Of these outcomes, the latter is seen by white people as the worst since it involves an encounter with the wrong kind of white people.
Conversely, any camping trip that ends in death at the hands of nature or requires the use of valuable government resources for a rescue is seen as relatively positive in white culture. This is because both situations might eventually lead to a book deal or documentary film about the experience.
Ultimately the best way to escape a camping trip with white people is to say that you have allergies. Since white people and their children are allergic to almost everything, they will understand and ask no further questions. You should not say something like “looking at history, the instances of my people encountering white people in the woods have not worked out very well for us.”

Note: this works for all races!

Letter From M.I.T. - College Admissions Humor

2009-10-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

A Letter From M.I.T.

MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department went a little over-board, I think. The first letter is an honest-to-goodness mailing from MIT, the second is one prospective student's reply:

April 18, 1994

Mr. John T. Mongan
123 Main Street
Smalltown, California 94123-4567
Dear John:

You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And now you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most students would be. But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.

The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It certainly got my attention!

Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn we offer more than 40 major fields of study, from architecture to brain and cognitive sciences, from economics (perhaps the best program in the country) to writing.

What? Of course, you don't want to be bored. Who does? Life here *is* tough *and* demanding, but it's also *fun*. MIT students are imaginative and creative - inside and outside the classroom.

You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT has more varsity teams - 39 - than almost any other university, and a tremendous intramural program so everybody can participate.

You think we're too expensive? Don't be too sure. We've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send the enclosed Information Request to find out more about this unique institution? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,

Michael C. Benhke
Director of Admissions

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "Insight," just check the appropriate box on the form.

May 5, 1994

Michael C. Behnke
MIT Director of Admissions
Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
Cambridge MA 02139-4307

Dear Michael:
You've got the reputation. You've certainly got the pomposity. And now you've got a letter from John Mongan. Maybe you're surprised. Most universities would be. But you're not most universities. And that's exactly why I urge you to carefully consider one of the most selective students in America, so selective that he will choose only *one* of the thousands of accredited universities in the country.

The level of pomposity and lack of tact reflected in your letter is a powerful indicator that your august institution might well be a possibility for John Mongan's future education. It certainly got my attention!

Don't want Bio-Chem students? No problem. It may surprise you to learn that my interests cover over 400 fields of study, from semantics to limnology, from object-oriented programming (perhaps one of the youngest professionals in the country) to classical piano.

What? Of course you don't want egotistical jerks. Who does? I *am* self-indulgent *and* over confident, but I'm also amusing. John Mongan is funny and amusing - whether you're laughing with him or at him.

You're interested in athletes? Great! John Mongan has played more sports - 47 - than almost any other student, including oddball favorites such as Orienteering.

You think I can pay for your school? Don't be too sure. I've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send a guaranteed admission and full scholarship to increase your chance of being selected by John Mongan? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,
John Mongan

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "John Mongan: What a Guy!" just ask.

Best Funny Comeback - Daily Joke at Laugh at THIS!

2009-09-27T10:31:00.001-07:00

Daily Interesting Link - Funny or Interesting Anagrams

2009-09-26T06:10:00.000-07:00

·         Motley Crue: Me Cruel Toy

·         Bob Marley: Marble Boy

·         William Shakespeare: I'll make a wise phrase

·         Jay Leno: Enjoy L.A.

·         Gene Simmons: Immense Song

·         Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler

·         The Morse Code = Here Come Dots

·         Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort

·         John Mayer = Enjoy harm

·         Belgium = Big mule

·         The eyes = They see

·         Barbie doll = Liberal bod

·         George Bush = He bugs Gore

·         Waitress = A stew, Sir?

·         Guinness draught = naughtiness drug

·         Breasts = Bra sets

·         The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice

·         Apple Products = Support Placed

·         Western Union = No Wire Unsent

·         Bruce Springsteen = Creep brings tunes

·         Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter

·         vegetarian = ate in grave

·         graduation = out in a drag

·         Dick Cheney = Needy Chick

·         Debit card = Bad credit

·         A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place

·         Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans

·         Achievements = Nice, save them

·         Clothespins = So Let's Pinch

·         Christine = Nice Shirt

·         Spice Girls = Pig Slices

·         The Cincinnati Reds = Indecent Christian

·         Dormitory = Dirty Room

·         Confessional = On scale of sin

·         David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV

·         Princess Diana = end is a car spin

·         President W = Newest Drip

·         Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free

·         Laxative = exit lava

·         Evangelist = Evil's Agent

·         George W Bush = he grew bogus

·         Beavis and Butthead = Thus, be a bad deviant

·         Astronomer = moon starer

·         Apple, Inc = Epic Plan

·         San Francisco Giants- Fascinating, No scars

·         Pre Calculus = Call up curse

·         Stupid Girl = Drips Guilt

·         madonna louise ciccone = one cool dance musician

·         The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom

·         Desperation = A Rope Ends It

·         Dancing with the stars = Winners had tight acts

·         Sherlock Holmes = He'll mesh crooks

·         Frito Lay = Oily Fart

·         Baseball = Babes All

·         Christina Aguilera = Ugly Satanic Hair

·         Conversation = Voices Rant On ASTRONOMER: MOON STARER

·         THE EYES: THEY SEE

·         Geologist = Go Get Oils

·         Christmas = Trims cash

·         Why do you care? = Hey you coward!

·         President Bush = Burnished Pest

·         Action man = cannot aim

·         The Simpson's = men's hot piss

·         Year two thousand = a year to shut down

·         Debit card = Bad Credit

·         shower time = where moist

·         Santa Monica = satanic moan

·         goodbye = Obey god

·         ipod lover = poor devil

·         Narcissism = Man's crisis

·         Actor Sylvester Stallone = Very cool talentless star

·         Funeral = Real Fun

·         comfort is = microsoft

·         Hot water = Worth tea

·         Television programming = Permeating living rooms

·         Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer

·         Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell

·         The Country Side = No City Dust Here

·         Flamethrower = oh, felt warmer

·         Clint Eastwood = Old West Action

·         Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord

·         Saddam Hussain = Humans sad side

·         Sheryl crow = her slow cry

·         Howard Stern = Retard Shown

·         Ladybug = bald guy

·         Astronomers = No more stars

·         Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's

·         A Gentleman = Elegant Man

·         I hate school = oh so ethical

·         No admittance = contaminated

·         Microwave = Warm Voice

·         Austin Powers = power us satin

·         T.S. Eliot = toilets

·         A telescope = To see place

·         Elvis = lives

·         Justin Timberlake = im a jerk but listen

·         Mel Gibson = Big Melons

·         The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help

·         Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one

·         Christmas = Trims cash

·         The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil

·         Schoolmaster = The classroom

·         A shoplifter = has to pilfer

·         listen = silent

·         Chemistry = shit, me cry

·         Gene Simmons = Immense Song

·         A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it

·         Garbage Man = Bag Manager

Funny and Interesting Anagrams - Seen at : http://www.anagramsite.com/

Incentive Fail

2009-09-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

As seen on : http://failblog.org/2009/09/25/incentive-fail/

How To Creep People Out

2009-09-26T05:08:00.000-07:00

As seen on : http://omglolz.info/pictures/how-to-creep-the-hell-out-of-people

Playground Fail

2009-09-22T02:06:00.001-07:00

see more Fail Blog

Best of F My Life!

2009-09-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

Best of F My Life!

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection.My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister.She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML

Check Out More at : Http://www.fmylife.com

Things People Said - Patient Charts

2009-09-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:

* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

* "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

* "The patient refused an autopsy."

* "The patient has no past history of suicides."

* "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

* "She is numb from her toes down."

* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

* "The skin was moist and dry."

* "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

* "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

* "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

* "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."

Source: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/patients.shtml

how to be annoying online

2009-09-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

how to be annoying online

1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").

2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!

3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.

4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."

5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.

6. cc: all your e-mail to the VP (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.

7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.

Source: www.chiprowe.com/articles/net/net3.html

Daily Funny Link - 09/15/09 : Top 20 ‘Funny’ SMS Text Messages

2009-09-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

Top 20 ‘Funny’ SMS Text Messages

1. The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”
2. I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled like.
3. Crime doesn’t pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?
4. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
5. Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
6. I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
7. Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
8. What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.
9. I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
10. The Nine Most Terrifying Words In The English Language Are ...
"I'm From The Government And I'm Here To Help...."
11. Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H
12. I hate people who text multiple message long texts which always end with some text missing. I just want to .......................... [some text missing]
13. Never forget that you’re unique, just like everyone else.
14. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.
15. What do u call dog with no legs? Don’t matter wot u call him, he ain’t gonna come.
16. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
17. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
18. If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
19. Born Free… Taxed to Death.
20. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait… searching… searching… still searching… sorry NO BRAIN found.
Source: http://www.funnyandjokes.com/sms-jokes.html

Daily Funny Joke - 09/15/09 : Duck Hunter

2009-09-14T20:19:00.002-07:00

A duck hunter was out in the marsh, enjoying the beautiful hunting weather when he felt the urge to relieve himself. So he walked over to the bushes and propped his gun against a tree. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew and knocked his gun over, discharging it and shooting him in the genitals.

Awaking several hours later in a hospital bed, our duck hunter is approached by his doctor. “Sir,” the doc begins “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there’s no internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”

“Wow, that’s great!” replied the hunter. “So what’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”

“Oh, well that’s not so bad I guess,” the hunter replied. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”

“Not exactly.” answered the doctor. “She’s a flute player in the local symphony, and she’s gonna to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t pee in your eye.”

Daily Dark Joke - 09/15/09

2009-09-14T20:19:00.001-07:00

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

Daily Racist Joke - 09/15/09

2009-09-14T20:18:00.001-07:00

Everyone should stop being racist . . racism should be a crime, and crime is for NIGGERS! - Neil

Random Thoughts From 25-30 Year Olds

2009-09-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

It is physically impossible to get back from class and not take a nap. It doesn't matter what time of day it is. The second you get through the door, it's like you've been awake for a week.

Before someone gets into my car, I always seem to have to change the song I'm playing to something less embarassing.

More at : http://melon.posterous.com/random-thoughts-from-25-35-year-olds

Daily Funny Jokes - laugh at THIS!

2009-09-13T10:21:00.001-07:00

Hello.

This blog is all about funny links, funny jokes, funny racist jokes, black jokes, yo mama jokes, yo mamma jokes, funny stuff, funny sayings, funny links from the web and daily jokes. Stick around and bookmark us!

Thanks.

Laugh at THIS!

6 Reasons Reality is Funnier Than Fiction ( AND A LOT MORE)

Stop Drop LOL - Laugh at THIS!

Unrelated Captions - Laugh at THIS!

My Life is Average - Laugh at THIS!

Crazy Things Parents Say - Laugh at THIS!

The Thanksgiving Letter - Awkward Family Moments - Emails from Crazy People - Laugh at THIS!

Biden Jr. - Funny Comic - Comixed.com - Laugh at THIS!

Murphy’s Logic - Laugh at THIS!

We has problem. Iz Nawt Pie Yet! - Lolcats 'n' Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?® - Laugh at THIS!

HATE #9: POOPING UNDER TIME CONSTRAINTS - The Ultimate Hate List - Laugh at THIS!

HATE #9: POOPING UNDER TIME CONSTRAINTS

20 Funniest Neon Sign Fails - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

Pop Can Genie - Funny Comic Strips - Laugh at THIS!

The Doctor's Waiting Room - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

The Making of You - Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes - Funny Pictures - Asian Humor - Language Fail - Laugh at THIS!

Project Kickass - Funny Pictures - Holiday Jokes - Christmas Funny Lights - Laugh at THIS!

Poor Dog - Funny GIFs- Funny Images - Laugh at THIS!

No! I am the Batman! Funny pictures - Funny Jokes - Laugh at THIS!

Ten More Demotivational Posters - Funny Pictures - Sarcasm - Comments - Captions - Laugh at THIS!

I assume You are a Chinese Immigrant! TOTAL WIN! Homework Funny Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

Hi! I am from the Internet! XKCD Comic!!

CSI - The Real Truth Behind The Show - Funny Daily Picture - Laugh at THIS!

Your LIFE! Sarcastic Comic.

Lamebook - Lame, Stupid, Funny Facebook Fails

Funny Picture - Pizza Hut - Entrance Fail

Funny Picture - Handwash - Hotel Restroom - Laugh at THIS!

Funny Math Question - Classroom Humor - Laugh at THIS!

Water On Mars - Funnt Pictures - Laugh at THIS!

Hat Fail - Funny Pictures

Our college life - Laugh at THIS!

Unusual (and fun!) Date Ideas

Foreign Signs - GNU Operating System - Laugh at THIS!

Laugh at THIS! - Chemistry Joke - Comicjk.com

BiPolar Bunnies - Joeledbetter

One Liners - Joker

Funny jokes - Funny Images

My Life is Average - #877471

Star Wars: Retold (by someone that's never seen it)

State Mottos Alabama to Wyoming

Capitalism and Cows

25 Hilarious Defaced Bills - Funny Web Links

Funny - Stupid Fail - Yahoo Answers Fail

funny superhero comic book covers

Stuff White People Like - #128 - Camping

Stuff White People Like - #128 - Camping

Letter From M.I.T. - College Admissions Humor

Best Funny Comeback - Daily Joke at Laugh at THIS!

Daily Interesting Link - Funny or Interesting Anagrams

Incentive Fail

How To Creep People Out

Playground Fail

Best of F My Life!

Things People Said - Patient Charts

how to be annoying online

Daily Funny Link - 09/15/09 : Top 20 ‘Funny’ SMS Text Messages

Top 20 ‘Funny’ SMS Text Messages

1. The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

2. I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled like.

3. Crime doesn’t pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?

4. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

5. Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

6. I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

7. Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

8. What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

9. I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

10. The Nine Most Terrifying Words In The English Language Are ...

"I'm From The Government And I'm Here To Help...."

11. Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H

12. I hate people who text multiple message long texts which always end with *some text missing*. I just want to .......................... *[some text missing]*

13. Never forget that you’re unique, just like everyone else.

14. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

15. What do u call dog with no legs? Don’t matter wot u call him, he ain’t gonna come.

16. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

17. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

18. If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?

19. Born Free… Taxed to Death.

20. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait… searching… searching… still searching… sorry NO BRAIN found.

Source: http://www.funnyandjokes.com/sms-jokes.html

12. I hate people who text multiple message long texts which always end with some text missing. I just want to .......................... [some text missing]