Best of F My Life!
Posted on Sunday, September 20, 2009
Best of F My Life!
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection.My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister.She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML
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