Things People Said - Patient Charts

Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:

* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."



* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."



* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."



* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."



* "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."



* "The patient refused an autopsy."



* "The patient has no past history of suicides."



* "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."



* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."



* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."



* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."



* "She is numb from her toes down."



* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."



* "The skin was moist and dry."



* "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."



* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."



* "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."



* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."



* "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."



* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."



* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."



* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."



* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."



* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."



* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."



* "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."



* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."



* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."



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Comments

One Response to "Things People Said - Patient Charts"

  1. Marlena on November 7, 2009 at 3:36 AM

    LMAO! Yeah I believe it. Especially with
    the dictation system we get stuck with. You wouldn't believe the things they've transcribed for me! And I was too busy to edit it.

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