Things People Said - Patient Charts
Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009
Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:
* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."
* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."
* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
* "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
* "The patient refused an autopsy."
* "The patient has no past history of suicides."
* "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."
* "She is numb from her toes down."
* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
* "The skin was moist and dry."
* "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."
* "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
* "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."
* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."
* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."
* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."
* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."
* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
* "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."
* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."
* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."
Comments
LMAO! Yeah I believe it. Especially with
the dictation system we get stuck with. You wouldn't believe the things they've transcribed for me! And I was too busy to edit it.